You may begin to doubt your motivation and perhaps revert to previous behaviour patterns in the early stages of recovery. Serenity Falls Sober Living seeks to create an environment that will prevent you from falling into bad thoughts and actions, allowing you to better prepare for life outside of recovery. However, there is one drawback to sober living: living with other people recovering from substance abuse and who may have flaws like you. You may have difficulties with your roommates due to the diversity of personalities and maturity levels. However, you may build a pleasant sober life experience by using various tools and strategies from your recovery toolbox.
Getting Through Difficult Situations
Having a terrible roommate entails more than simply disagreeing with someone because you have different personalities or maturity levels. A roommate can be an enabler, encouraging you to drink, use drugs, violating curfews, and form alliances against your roommates. Any of these scenarios could lead to relapse. High-stress conditions tend to flick the wrong switches in your brain, necessitating a proactive strategy including care and patience. While your initial instinct may be to change sober living situations, keep in mind that these issues can occur in any sober living scenario.
Instead of looking for the ideal living conditions, which are unlikely to exist, take advantage of this opportunity to practice tolerance, resilience, and communication. Determine how you feel based on your past experiences.
For example, when you're having a good day, instead of getting caught up in what another roommate is going through focus on why you're having a good day. Avoid becoming "hung up" on minor details such as a sock on the floor or a dish in the sink. We all live in various ways, and we can't expect everyone to clean up and do other domestic duties in the same amount of time. Remember that this is all part of the shared experience and that the patience you gain in these situations will serve you well in other aspects of your life.
The goal of sober living is to establish an environment where inhabitants are held accountable. Make it a point to identify the more responsible and mature housemates rather than arguing with the more aggressive or less mature housemates. Practising this habit will give you a positive mindset and help you stay on track. While you may desire to rebel against the sober living framework, pushing and opposing these restrictions will only lead you further away from your objectives. The norms of sober living are in place to ensure that your recovery needs are met first.
Encourage your roommates to be more open.
It may appear that encouraging roommates to express constructive criticism is a sure-fire method to cause a fight. You are, however, supporting an environment that fosters honesty, leadership, humility, and accountability in addition to using a tool for long-term recovery. When you were abusing drugs and alcohol, you may have learned the ability to conceal your use and deceive your friends and family into believing that everything was fine. However, because you live with individuals who have had comparable experiences, manipulating them will be much more difficult. Being open and honest with them shows them how serious you are about getting better, which helps you stay on track. Giving others that type of leadership can build a sense of responsibility and maturity in them and want to help one another.
Don't slander or resent anyone.
Resist the impulse to resent your roommate in silence or gossip about them to others.
Remember, the roommate should be the first to know of a roommate conflict. People in recovery should avoid holding grudges because they are afraid of facing a difficult scenario, such as addressing someone. We create resentment when this happens, and this can be dangerous ground. You can be sure that your roommate will find out about all of your concerns at some point. So, when something bothers you, be mature and go straight to the source (i.e., your roommate). If you've addressed the problem and nothing has changed, or you're unsure how to proceed, talk to someone you can trust, such as your sponsor, therapist, or myself.
Attend House Meetings
Every Tuesday evening, we have a meeting to ensure that everyone is on track. These meetings can start to feel like work after a time. Worse, they might make you feel like you're going nowhere and even build animosity since you think you've moved on from the matter. You will be less inclined to engage in meetings if you lose interest in them. Speak out if you don't feel like the meeting resonates with you. Ask a question that will elicit new questions from your housemates or ask a question that will elicit new inquiries. These sessions exist to provide you with a platform to address your issues. Don't miss out on the chance to participate, and remember that you need to be in a meeting when you're having a terrible day, and you need to be in the meeting when you're having a good day.
Set Limits, But Don't Back Down
Set limits for yourself and others. It can be difficult to prepare for a situation, especially when your first reaction is emotional. On the other hand, establishing limits may assist you in returning to the centre before going over the edge. Knowing your triggers and what you need to do to combat them is the first step in setting boundaries. Is it through meditation, exercise, or contacting your sponsor? Knowing your flaws allows you to better design strategies to combat and avoid triggering situations.
Try to figure out who isn't good for your recuperation in your living environment. Consider ways to avoid meeting this person on their level if you believe befriending them would lead to conflict or destructive conduct.
On the other hand, don't withdraw into yourself because you're afraid of the differences. It's critical to break free from your previous seclusion and learn how to interact! Do not "turn off" to avoid discussing your feelings. Learn how to express these emotions so that resentment does not develop due to negative feelings.
It may sound harsh, but your health and recuperation must always come first. You don't have to make an effort to befriend other housemates if you don't think they're ready to take on recovery obligations. While support is important, the individual must also be fully committed to the most effective path, and only they can choose whether they are genuinely ready.
It's never easy to live among different personalities at any stage in one's life. Know that you are far more open in a sober living setting than you might imagine. Take care of yourself, and attempt to comprehend and grow from your flaws. You don't have to pretend to be someone you aren't, as tempting as that may be. While you may have roommates with whom you do not get along, this should not cause you to feel uneasy or flee. Use this environment to study and achieve acceptable goals that will last beyond your stay here. This will assist you in leading a tranquil, sober existence after you have lived in a world filled with so many diverse characters and situations.
Don't be afraid of failing; instead, be afraid of not trying. Never say "I Don't Care" to yourself. You will only become who you believe you are if you believe in yourself.
Maintain your course...